The Big Three in Kohl’s world are not named LeBron James, Dwayne Wade and Chris Bosh. No, Kohl does not count those NBA players among his friends. Besides, Kohl is still of the traditional belief that that only teams, and not collections of selfish superstars, can win championships.
Kohl nevertheless has his own collection of super stars. “The Big Three” in Kohl’s world are those friends that have managed to most consistently capture that most elusive thing called his undivided attention. They are (1) Marty the Moose, (2) Sophie the Giraffe and (3) Bruce the Oak Tree.
Let’s meet our winners:
MARTY THE MOOSE
Utilizing his strategic location on top of Kohl’s car seat, Marty and Kohl did not hit it off immediately, but persistence paid for Marty as Kohl eventually came around. Marty is always there to reassure him that everything will be fine as Kohl begrudgingly gets into his car seat to go to doctor’s appointments, the park, physical therapy or wherever. As long as Marty is there, everything will be okay.
Marty is also a proud American moose who distrusts foreigners, particularly the French, which has put him at odds with Kohl’s next favorite friend, Sophie the Giraffe. Take a zealous patriotism, mix it with a distrust of the French, and sprinkle in some jealousy, and you get utter disdain.
This infighting at Chateau du Chrestman is regrettable, and we are working to make amends between Marty and Sophie.
SOPHIE THE GIRAFFE
Anyone with children ages 0 – 10 is undoubtedly familiar with Sophie, a charming French giraffe who, according to her packaging, was born in Paris in the year 1961. So for over 50 years, Sophie has been at once entertaining children all over the world while also boggling the minds of their parents as to why they find her so entertaining. After all, she is nothing more than a squeaky toy seemingly no different from scores of others on the market. But for reasons beyond the understanding of many-a-parent, kids are enamored with her.
Perhaps it is her exotic French accent that is so appealing. Or maybe she has some mystical connection with any human being under the age of two that is only understood by Sophie and child. Either way, Kohl’s dad is not sure he can trust her and thinks Marty may be on to something. Nevertheless, Sophie comes in awfully handy to prevent melt downs and cause young Kohl to smile for pictures. So, we will keep her around.
But if she gets out of line, there is someone else at Chateau du Chrestman who has expressed a keen interest in “playing” with Sophie:
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In Ancient Rome, you got thrown to the lions. At the Chateau, the punishment is no less harsh.
BRUCE THE OAK TREE
Like many young men, Kohl enjoys the great outdoors, particularly the front porch of Chateau du Chrestman where he can stare at his good friend Bruce the Oak Tree. If left to his own devices, Kohl would sit and stare at Bruce all day. Bruce is old, wise and probably has numerous stories to tell Kohl. Both Bruce and Kohl yearn for the day that Kohl can swing from one of Bruce’s branches in a tire swing.
So those are The Big Three. Marty the Moose, Sophie the Giraffe and Bruce the Oak Tree have separated themselves from the pack and proven to be the most reliable at making this tiny person living with us smile.
But there are others worthy of mention who also make him smile, just not as consistently. Here are some honorable mentions:
MAHALIA JACKSON
Maybe it’s her smooth, gospel voice. Maybe it’s the bright colors of her robe. Whatever it is, Kohl likes it.
THE CEILING FAN
Perhaps more inexplicable than his fascination with Sophie the Giraffe is Kohl’s fascination with the ceiling fan in the living room of the Chateau. We are at a loss as to why he likes it so much, but as long as it continues to make him do this …
… the Chrestmans are pro-ceiling fans.
KISSES FROM MOM
Of late, Kohl has come to enjoy several pecks on his cheek from Mommy. His left cheek in particular
His reaction is enough for Mommy to forgive him from routinely pooping on her.
