Kohl’s Instructions

Dear G-Daddy and CeCe,

Here are my instructions and requests for my weekend in Lake Chuck.  Please be amenable to them.  I’m available to answer questions at any time, but my preferred time is around 2 a.m.

Waking Up

I like to attack the day.  Therefore I wake up between 630 a.m. and 7 a.m.  EVERY SINGLE DAY.  What, don’t you want to play with me?

Morning Meds

I didn’t want to put this in here, but mean Mommy made me.  In the morning (by 730 a.m.), I begrudgingly drink a bottle and then I fight, I mean take, my medicine.  Be sure to inject it into my cheek and keep me upright.  This helps to prevent me from choking.  I like to play the game of you keeping me from spitting it out.  It’s fun!  Do in the following order to ensure I get the most important meds first.

–        1 mL tegrital

–        5 mL prevacid

Feedings and Naps

I usually begin my day by drinking a 3-4 oz bottle.  Most of the time, I drink 3 oz and leave an ounce.  I don’t want my parents to think I’m giving in on my hunger strike.  They still haven’t figured out what cause I’m supporting.  Muahaha.  Due to my unfailing hunger strike, I will probably only drink my next bottle when I start to fall asleep for my mid-morning nap.  I prefer to be held while sucking my pacifier.  You will have to “trick” me by sneaking the bottle in after my pacifier.  I will sometimes take a full  6 oz bottle at this time, sometimes I will take less.  If I don’t nap, you can try to feed me about 3 hours after my breakfast bottle.

I should also take an afternoon nap.  The same feeding logic applies here as well.  Again – I may not take a full 6 oz.  I will let you know what I want.  Sometimes my naps are only 30 minutes.  Sometimes they are an hour.  Again, I will dictate how long I feel like sleeping.  I like to be covered by my blue LSU blanket.

Recipe for Bottles:

Breakfast: 4 oz of Pediasure Peptide + 3.5 scoops of duocal + a little miralax (I prefer my bottles shaken and stirred.  Use the chopstick to stir.  Then shake it before serving.  I do not like clumps in my bottles.)

Morning and Afternoon Bottles: 6 oz of Pediasure Peptide + 3.5 scoops of duocal (again, stir then shake)

Bedtime Bottle: 8 oz of Pediasure Peptide + 3.5 scoops of duocal (AGAIN, stir then shake before serving)


I really enjoy lots of standing, and I may even take a few marching steps for you if you’re extra nice to me.  I like to sit up with my hands between my legs so that I can see everyone.  I particularly enjoy rocking and scooting myself in my rocking chair.  Too bad you don’t have one to play in too!  Since I’m so good at kicking my legs, my arms need to be stretched out a lot.  Please raise them over my head and out to the sides. You can also straighten them at any point.  I like to make you work for it.   I’m also pretty good at tummy time where I’ll show you how I push myself up on my arms.  I may attempt to roll over, but again you’ll have to get me started.

Evening Meds

This is my least favorite time of day, but again, mean Mommy makes me.  Mean Daddy is even in on this one.  I fight it so much that it takes two people – one to hold me and then other to torture me, I mean administer my medicine.  This shit goes down at 630/645 p.m.

–        phenobarb: 1 15 mg and 1 60 mg pill crushed together in the pill crusher, poured into the mini bowl, and stirred with chocolate syrup (around 3 drops or so).

–        1 mL tegrital

–        4 mL elavil

Bath Time, Bed Time, and Night Time:

After you have been able to calm me down and stop the hysterics of my evening meds, I will allow you to bathe me.  I prefer a calm and happy spa-like experience complete with warm water and allowing me to kick my legs.  Please wash my beautiful physique – especially my stinky hands.  I don’t want to smell that when I’m snuggling up to go to sleep.  I do not, I repeat do NOT, like to be taken out of my bath into the cold world.  Your best bet is to wrap me in a large warm towel and quickly dry me off.  If you allow me to kick while you lotion me up, I will stop whining – that is until you try to dress me.  It’s easier if you do my right arm first and then my left since it’s looser than my right.

I like to retire for the night between 8 and 9 p.m.  Again, this is the best time to get me to drink a big bottle.  I may take up to 8 oz, but I’ll need to be held upright for a while afterwards.  Sometimes if you put my pacifier in my mouth I will spit up my bottle.  Then we have to go through the whole wardrobe fiasco again, which deeply upsets me.

I prefer my blue LSU blanket and then my fuzzy dog blanket.  My parents think it makes it harder for me to kick the blankets off, but I have pretty strong legs!  I will probably wake up some time between 2 a.m. and 4 a.m.  If you’re lucky I will go back to sleep quickly.  This requires you to give me my pacifier and rock me in my rock-n-play.  Otherwise your next best bet is to put me in bed with you.

Then it’s time to start all over again!  Carpe Diem, G-Daddy and CeCe!!!

Miscellaneous Fun Facts for a Successful Lake Chuck Visit:

–        You will have my car seat so that we can go on fieldtrips.  I particularly enjoy listening to music in the car.

–        Use my hand braces several times a day especially if you see me clenching my hands and keeping my thumbs in.

Alright, I believe that is the end of my instructions/requests.  Remember 2 things: 1.) I’m available for questions around 2 a.m. most nights and weekends, and 2.) I will dictate our activities.  What did you think you were in charge?



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