A Mother’s Day Poem

Kohl has employed various modes of expression.  Of course, he has used the traditional methods of fussing, crying and pooping to convey different messages.  But he decided to mix it up a bit this first Mother’s Day.  As an accompaniment to the clay footprint he gave her as a present, he used the timeless medium of poetry to let his Mom know how much he appreciates her.


Happy Mother’s Day, mommy, I made this for you,

It can make you feel better whenever you feel blue.

My foot is so tiny, but not those long, Kohler toes,

I can probably hang from a tree with ten of those.

My footprint is on clay, there’s a red stain on it,

Pay the stain no mind, Dad can’t paint worth a shit.

I know you love flowers and green grass,

My foot is small now, but soon it will kick Dad’s ass.

Right now I am small, but one day I’ll be grown,

So you’ll want this little footprint to keep for your own.

Truly brilliant work.  I guess now all he needs is a tiny beret and a little skin-tight turtleneck.  Happy Belated Mother’s Day, moms.  You all are too often taken for granted.

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